5 Ways to Start Taking Up More "Space" as a Female Entrepreneur
As women, we’re subconsciously taught to make ourselves smaller throughout our entire lives. Don’t rock the boat. Be polite and respectful no matter what. Workout to make yourself smaller. All of it leads to us playing small in every area of our life, which means we often don’t live up to our full potential.
But since we’ve learned all of this in such a subtle and structured way, it’s often difficult to bring this into our consciousness. However, there are ways you can start to take up more space and fully stepping into your power.
REMOVE “JUST” FROM COMMUNICATIONS.
Having just in your communications often softens the message. This about the difference between “I wanted to check-in” and “I just wanted to check-in”. Just makes it softer and while that works in some cases, it often undermines our message.
It can be really difficult to catch ourselves while speaking so start by removing this from your written communications. Write your email then go back and remove any unnecessary justs from those emails. Same with text messages. Then move over to trying to write the email without any justs in the first place. The more you can seamlessly do this, the more it will translate into your spoken communication as well.
This will allow you to be more assertive and communicate in a stronger way when needed… especially at work.
SAY NO MORE OFTEN.
Or at least stop saying yes to things you want to say no to.
When we say yes when we want to say no, we’re actually invalidating our own experiences and feelings which causes us to stay small. If you don’t want to do something, speak it.
But if this is something that’s really difficult for you to do, try not committing instead. Say something along the lines of “let me check my schedule” or “let me think about it” allow you time to muster up the courage needed to say no… and it’s much easier to say no when you haven’t yet committed than when you’ve already said yes.
Plus learning to pause and not commit while help you transition more easily into saying no immediately. One day you’ll say no right away and really surprise yourself!
STOP BEING OVERLY ACCOMMODATING.
Again, as women we’re taught to play small and that often means we accommodate others needs before our own. So along with saying no to things you don’t want to do or agree with, you can start practicing asserting your preferences more.
If a song you like comes on the radio and someone changes it, tell them you liked that song and want to listen to it.
When asked if you have a preference for dinner, share it. Even if you don’t have a strong preference on restaurant, share if you’d prefer Italian over Chinese on that instance.
Honor what you actually want by communicating that with other will help start to put yourself first which is a pretty awesome feeling.
START BRAGGING ABOUT YOURSELF.
Ok hear me out on this one because I know this is hard to do. Maybe you don’t think you’re doing anything worth bragging about or you’re worried about coming across as conceded… but that mediocre white middle aged dude isn’t worried about that and you sure as hell shouldn’t be either.
You have plenty of things to be proud of so I want you to first acknowledge that to yourself. Whether that looks like journalling or my personal favorite, looking yourself in the mirror and telling yourself you are a total badass. Then start sharing the things you’re really proud of with people you love and feel comfortable with whether that’s a parent, best friend, significant other, coworker, or anyone else.
Once you start doing this with these people, it will become more natural so you can toot your own horn in other scenarios.
ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS WITHOUT DOWNPLAYING ANYTHING.
Along with tooting your own horn from time to time, you need to get comfortable accepting compliments without downplaying them. I know a lot of us will be like “oh this old thing” or “oh please, I look like a mess” when given a compliment of some kind because we’re uncomfortable simply saying thank you. But you should be able to feel good about yourself when someone if offering up kind words so moving forward trying to simply express gratitude when given a compliment and actively fight the urge to downplay it.
It’s going to be really uncomfortable and awkward at first, but you deserve to be recognized for all your beauty and accomplishments!
There are countless other ways to take up space as a woman but I wanted to start you off with some of my favorite (and easy!) ways to do it. Share any others you love in the comments to help give other ideas as well!